Archive for the The Rules Category

Rules for Shotgun

Sunday, April 24th, 2011

Independently originated, then influenced by this website and this other one:

  1. Shotgun must be said audibly to all present or the person’s hand must be on the door handle
  2. Window is a separate option that must also be called independently. All other rules for Window are the same as those for Shotgun.
  3. The car must be visible, you must be outside or in the parking structure, and the ride must be imminent. Early calls are strictly prohibited. (Often this rule is split up into several other rules.)
  4. Shotgun may not be called for anybody else.
  5. Shotgun only applies among equals who are of more or less the same age, gender, and status. Also, the seat must be vacant when called. In cases where Shotgun is not available (for instance if the person with directions, an elder, or a disabled person needs the seat), anyone who called Shotgun automatically loses their bid.
  6. In case of a tie, Rock, Paper, Scissors, or Mad Dash to the Car rules may be instituted in lieu of the driver’s tie-breaking decision. This is the driver’s choice and one must familiarize oneself with the local rules before playing Shotgun.
  7. The order for automatic Shotgun is as follows: owner of the car, disabled person, elderly person, person who knows the directions, spouse/partner of the driver, all other claimants.

Shotgun is awarded to the quickest thinker for a reason: he must serve as navigator, radio controller, and cop watcher. Theoretically, being the first to call Shotgun better allows for this. Failure to abide by these rules or duties may result in the person with Shotgun being forced to ride Bitch.

Rule No. 103

Monday, March 15th, 2010

Rules for Relationships:

Call once, leave a message.  Wait.  You can call again, but don’t call again unless she calls back.  If she wants to be with you, she will call back.  If she doesn’t, why are you trying so hard?

Rule No. 102

Friday, March 12th, 2010

Rules for Relationships:

Don’t text or call while drunk.

Rule No. 101

Monday, March 8th, 2010

Rules for Relationships:

Don’t text unless you’ve recently been texted.

Rule No. 6

Wednesday, November 25th, 2009

Rules for Guys:

“Never look below the neck on another male unless it is to mock him for a ridiculous getup.”

Subclause: avert gaze altogether from men that are changing or showering in a locker room. Avoid men that walk around in the nude.

Rule No. 86

Sunday, October 19th, 2008

Rules for Guys:

“Don’t Stick it in Crazy”

Seriously… don’t.