Cnstrn'd Writing

“A crook can get in. A lock is for an honest man.”
-Tim Harder, the guy installing my security system.

My friend Jack thinks that smoking is non-negotiable. Even if someone was the girl of his dreams in every other respect, if she smoked he wouldn’t be interested. I have quite other things that matter more to me:

1. Has to be born a woman¹
2. Has to presently identify as a woman
3. Has to be trustworthy
4. Cannot be a member of my immediate family
5. Cannot be bipolar or have other personality disorders
6. Must not be a drug or alcohol addict²
7. Cannot be a serial killer
8. Must not weigh more than me
9. Must not be much taller than me
10. Relatively disease free (Should not have HerpeAIDS or anything similar)
11. Cannot have slept with my brother/friend before me
12. Cannot have dated a bro (as in good friends)
13. Must have a compatible sense of humor
14. Must not have a really, really annoying voice
15. Needs to be between 18 and 38
16. Has to have ambition, goals, or desires
17. Cannot be boring

1. Although, I suppose I’ve never encountered someone that wasn’t, so who knows? [↩]
2. or anything comparable [↩]